Few things keep surprising me like this simple technique.
Inner dialogue led me to aspects of myself that I had been avoiding, it surfaced deep fears, strange ideas, and startling beliefs. It showed me that my youngest parts speak in my native language. Inner dialogue made me scream and break pens, but it also offered me guidance, peace, and even poetry. Above all, it helped me move.
That’s how I think about writing by hand, as a practice of movement. Compared to typing on a computer or phone, the hand moves across the page. That creates inner movement and, ideally, movement in life.
That’s why I return to it whenever I feel stuck or tense. I see these as signals of possibly unexplored or unexperienced inner polarities, of simmering conflicts that disconnect me from inner wisdom and guidance.
This stuckness could be about a specific something or someone, a lack of clarity about a person, decision or situation that translates into lack of movement. Or it could be unspecific and feel like stress and a lack of progress in some area of your life — like work, family, relationship, or money.
I think of people as “fractal” assortments of inner sub-personalities or parts. In moments of stuckness I find that I am “up here” in my egoic construct (and “in my head”), disconnected from information and emotion existing within the rest of me. Inner dialogue is one way to reconnect and explore what is happening on the lower levels.
I picked this up from screenwriter David Milch who recommended it to students as his favorite exercise (my previous post about it).
It’s very simple. You offer an open space to let your parts share their opinions. Take a page and a pen and let “voice one” and “voice two” speak (in later sessions you could experiment with more). Set a timer and write (20+ minutes). Just let your hand move.
“For the next five days, find a time each day, preferably the same time, and sit down and write not less than twenty minutes and not more than fifty minutes. Don’t think about what you’re going to write before you do it. … Two voices, one and two. No names. No description.
Don’t think about what it means. Don’t think about who they are. Just follow, just hear what they say. — David Milch
Movement is the whole point. Movement from mind to body, from thinking to feeling, from conscious to unconscious. And to let what is deep within you — unexpressed, pushed away, unheard, censored, lost in the noise — move up to your awareness.
Write only for yourself. Lock it away after, throw it out, whatever removes the last barrier of self-censorship. Just keep the pen moving.
A good sign is surprise — surprising emotional intensity, language, or content and direction of the ideas expressed.
“The next day, preferably at the same time, sit down and do it again. They may be the same voices, they may be different voices, don’t worry about it. Whatever comes out is fine. Don’t think about it. Just do it.”
What emerges may be about what you’re wrestling with. It could also relate to other areas of your life that need attention. It could be a creative impulse. Your only job is to give space to whatever is alive and wants to be expressed and to experience the emotional charge.
I revisit inner dialogue regularly, like now when I wrestle with topics like money, fear, home, and identity.
Part of me wants to live in the Alps, another in New York, a third wants to blow it all up and just travel.
Part of me wants to “be a man” and make a lot of money, buy a house. Another only cares about art, play, and spirituality.
I bet you can find this diversity of inner opinion for every important topic in your life. These parts don’t go away; the polarities remain. But once they are seen and acknowledged, you can make a decision from a place of greater understanding and less tension.
Good luck!
— Frederik
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